O Love That Will Not Let Me Go - Indelible Grace Style

This is one of our favorite songs right now, which we sing often at church.

Here's what I found about the history of the hymn:

“O Love That Will Not Let Me Go” was written on the evening of Matheson’s sister’s marriage. His whole family went to the wedding and left him alone. There is a story of how years before, he had been engaged until his fiancé learned that he was going blind, and there was nothing the doctors could do, and she told him that she could not go through life with a blind man. He went blind while studying for the ministry, and his sister had been the one who had taken care of him all these years, but now she was married and gone.

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

2. O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Give Me a Caption

This picture was taken a few months ago. Can you come up with a good caption for it?

And just in case you didn't already know, we're not Osteen fans.

Still Singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" - 1 Year Later

Reese has been in our lives for one year now, and he has given us a joy we've never known before. Our hearts just melt each time we look at his sweet little face. He makes us laugh and turns the mundane into fun.

But it has been a difficult year. The first few months seemed to be full of unending problems: an early entrance into the world, projectile spit-up, projectile poop, pumping, crying - it wasn't just Reese shedding tears, sleepless nights (Wait, still have those!), teething, pumping, thrush, 2 bouts of mastitis, pumping, etc. There were honestly days when I didn't think I would survive. There were days when we thought, "What have we done?"

Once again, the Lord has been faithful to provide for us, and we've made it through the struggles with His help. He has been more generous with us than we deserve, and has used the thorns to draw us nearer to Him.

I am especially thankful that He has allowed me to nurse Reese for a full year. I never thought we'd make it this far. It has simply been one of the best accomplishments of my life. (I know that sounds silly, but if you've ever nursed a baby before, you understand.) I'm so thankful that George has been supportive of me, as I couldn't have done it without his help. And Jan, thanks for letting my cry on your shoulder so many times. I'm glad we've been able to enter motherhood at the same time!

Reese's first birthday was bittersweet. A celebration of surviving the first year, yet a goodbye to babyhood. (Is that a word?) It was definitely a year we'll never forget - I hope.

I don't want to forget a single moment of our first year as a family of three.


More birthday pictures coming soon!

Palm Sunday

Today is Palm Sunday and we were surprised when our pastor at church said that meant pretzels.

Pretzels?

Each person at church went home with a pretzel, complete with a packet of salt and mustard. We are pretzel connoisseurs, but didn't know about the connection between Palm Sunday and pretzels.


Have you ever heard the story behind the pretzel? Here's what they told us:

The pretzel was invented by a German monk in 610 AD from scraps of dough. The monk used the pretzels as treats for children who learned their prayers and scripture lessons. The pretzel is shaped in the form of arms folded in prayer - in those days people did not pray by bowing their heads and folding their hands, but by crossing arms with each hand resting on the opposite shoulder. Later the pretzel was used as a convenient way to hand food to the poor, and it became a favorite form of alms for the hungry. The church adopted the practice of handing out pretzels in the streets on Palm Sunday as a commemoration of Christ entering the city of Jerusalem as King in order to bring gifts and blessings to the people of God. It is in this sense that we use the pretzel as a holiday food - Christ our King has come to bring us gifts and blessings - He is the answer to our prayers and the bread that fills and strengthens us.

Believe it or not, Sam's Club sells really good pretzels in their little cafe, but the best pretzels I've ever had are the pretzel sticks from Auntie Anne's. Yum-o!

Bedtime Reading

"Dad, where are the pictures?"

The One I've Been Dreading

I've been dreading this post. I put it off in hopes that if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be true. When I realized it was true, then I feared I wouldn't be able to write a post that would honor my mother-in-law the way it should. But I will try.

Monday, February 2, 2009 was a day we will never forget. We awoke with a 4:30 am phone call that brought news that would forever change our lives. George's mom had died... it was a sudden massive heart attack... and it was definitely unexpected.

We were in shock. How could she have died? Beverly was healthy and George had just talked to her the night before. He and his dad are ham radio operators, and they talk via ham radio every Sunday night. That particular night, George's radio didn't work, so he called his parents on the phone instead. He told his parents he loved them, and hung up, not knowing that his mom would die just a few hours later.

Thank God the ham radio didn't work that night.

A few weeks have gone by since Beverly's death, and it still hasn't sunk in. I'm not sure when it will. Since she has been gone, Reese has learned to crawl, pull up, and clap. She didn't get to see any of those milestones. She won't be here for his first birthday, or his first day of school. Beverly only knew Reese for 9 short months, but she loved him. We will make sure he knows.

Beverly was a loving wife, mother, friend, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Unfortunately, I never told her that she was a good mother-in-law. She made me feel at home with the Deines family from day one. I will always remember her as a great example of a woman who served the Lord and others. She joyfully put the needs of her husband, family, and friends above her own needs.

It hurt to lose Beverly. And it will hurt for a long, long time.

But we do have comfort. We have comfort in the Lord, and we are thankful that Beverly is with Him at this hour. Not because she was a good person, though she was. Not because she did good deeds, which she did. It was not those things that saved her. We know Beverly had faith in Jesus Christ, and since she is absent from her body, she is present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8).

And we have been comforted by our dear friends and family during this difficult time. Thank you all for the caring emails, phone calls, cards, flowers, food, visits, and prayers. Please keep praying for us as we continue to mourn.

Grandma Deines and Reese

Christmas Recap

I'm a little late getting these pics posted, and I'm also late getting our Christmas letter mailed out. Well, I haven't actually even written the letter yet to be honest. Look for it in your mailbox sometime in 2009.

After attending a beautiful Christmas Eve service at New Saint Peter's Presbyterian Church, we had dinner with my family arrived at my mom's 30 minutes later than we expected and everyone had completely finished eating by the time we got there. So, we had to eat by ourselves. Someone had to eat all the food that George had spent hours preparing.

Here are a few pics from the night.

Reese's first Christmas gift

Me and sweet Bella - They (Bella and Pearl, the other
chihuahua) were dressed in their new Christmas collars.

Cousin Mackenzie and Cousin Riley, opening Riley's
Hello Kitty sweats

This year my family decided to make gifts for each other for Christmas. George made Chex mix and I made these decorative letters for my nieces and their parents.

For Mackenzie, Madison, and Morgan

I had quite a few to make!

On Christmas Eve, we started a tradition with Reese that comes from my childhood. We gave him a new pair of pajamas to open, which he slept in Christmas night. Then on Christmas morning, George read a little about Jesus' birth before opening gifts. George and I don't buy gifts for each other, so Reese had the only gift to open. We plan to always keep the gift-giving to a minimum in order to keep Christ the focus of Christmas.

Ready to open his gift!

We spent Christmas day with George's family in Denton and had a delicious, quiet meal. We opened presents after lunch, visited for a while, and then headed back home. We ended Christmas day with a nice visit with my dad.

A new book from Grandma and Grandpa

Now on to that Christmas letter...

When It Rains, It Pours

This picture pretty much sums up our past 2 weeks.

If you know anything about George, you know that
spit up on the face is almost the most disgusting
thing that could happen to him!

Happy New Year! I think we're all going to live. A few days ago, I wasn't so sure. The past few weeks have been pretty painful at the Deines house. It started when I came down with a 24 hour stomach bug. The next day George got it, but worse. Thank goodness Reese avoided that one.

Last Friday, I woke up with my second case of mastitis. I ran fever for 5 days and thought I was going to die at times. I think it's the sickest I've ever been. Twice I had a fever of 102.5 with Tylenol. Not fun at all. My sister Tracy, a nurse, advised me to go to the ER if the fever didn't come down. Thankfully it did. Sunday when I woke up I was worse, so I got a stronger antibiotic. No improvement. I had to end up going to the doctor on Monday, because they thought I potentially had an abscess. By the time I finally got in to see the doctor that afternoon, I was feeling a little better. He said there was no sign of abscess and he thought I was starting to recover. I'm feeling MUCH better and am almost back to normal.

Saturday night George was working on his Sunday school lesson and was leaning on his elbow while typing on the computer. He apparently developed a pinched nerve in his shoulder blade from the way he was sitting. He is now in severe pain when he moves. And for some reason, the pain is worse when he sits. I know he was in quite a bit of pain while caring for Reese when I wasn't able to get off the couch.

Unfortunately, Reese wasn't excluded from the fun either. His top 3 teeth are partially in, and he has been in quite a bit of pain at times. He fell on his new Christmas present the other night and his gums bled a little. He has been a CRAB this morning and he's sitting here whining as I type.

We just keep reminding ourselves that the pain we experience is a mere shadow of the hell from which God has saved us. Man, oh man, am I glad He has saved us. I pray He will do the same for Reese.

When I get a break from the whining, I'll post a Christmas recap. Here's a sneak preview...

All I Want for Christmas

We made a video of Reese dancing to All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth, but the file is too big to load. I'm posting a meaningful song instead. It's my favorite this Christmas. This is the only video of the song I could find, so you'll have to deal with the less than stellar quality...

From the Squalor of a Borrowed Stable



Merry Christmas!

Who Needs Sleep?

Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it. Who needs sleep? Tell me what's that for. Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it. Be happy with what you're getting, there's a guy whose been awake since the second world war.

I've been singing this Barenaked Ladies song the past few days. There's not a lot of sleep happening in this house, except for the animals. Reese is teething. Again. And this time it's really bad. He screams when he nurses and claws at his face and ears. He'll be sound asleep, and the second I put him down in his bed, he kicks his legs and starts to cry.

Friday night, Reese slept for 25 minutes total in his bed. I held him until 5:00 or so and George was then able to get him to sleep on our bed for a few hours. Since we only have a full size bed, that meant George had to sleep on the couch.

Last night, he didn't go to sleep until midnight. He was up crying at 12:30. He slept on me until 2 something, we gave him more Tylenol, and George got him to sleep on our bed at 3:30. This time George decided to sleep on the floor. Rudy snored through all of this. Reese slept until 7ish, ate, smiled and talked to us a little, and slept on George until 10:30. At that point I took Reese out of the bedroom so George could sleep. He slept until noon.

I don't know how people manage with more than one child. I am in awe of Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 18th child. She's been through the nursing issues, sleepless nights, and teething 17 times already. Wow. And I know I'm no Kate Gosselin. Those mothers are truly amazing.

Each day I pray God will give me enough patience and strength to make it through the day, and still manage to glorify Him in the process. Today I hope He'll give us all a little more sleep too.



I should note that we did not skip church this morning! Due to plumbing issues at our church, we've been having night services at another location.

7 Years Already?

George and I became Mr. and Mrs. George Thomas Deines on November 10, 2001. I can't believe we've been married for 7 years. Not bad for two people who never wanted to get married!

I am so thankful God has blessed me with such a fine husband as George. He is caring, an excellent cook, funny, smart, and hard working, just to name a few. He often comments that he's my "servant leader" and he certainly does have a servant's heart. Just this weekend, Reese woke up at 5 am and George watched him for 3 hours so I could sleep. Then, he cooked me a delicious breakfast of pumpkin pancakes, faux sausage, and topped it off with fresh squeezed grapefruit juice. More important than all of the above attributes, George loves Christ and strives to glorify God and enjoy Him in all that he does.

A few years ago we read a very good book in Sunday school called Sacred Marriage. The book makes a case that God intends for marriage to make people holy, not necessarily happy. Now I'm not saying that we're not happy, because we are. But when two sinners decide to live as one, there are bound to be difficulties along the way. We were glad to gain that perspective about marriage early on in our life as husband and wife.

This year the Lord blessed us with our sweet Reese and we are now a family of three. My transition into motherhood has not been the easiest at times and George has been a huge blessing. Even when working 70 hours + a week, he never hesitated to change a diaper, vacuum the house, or scoop the cats' litter box. (That last one proves he truly does have a servant's heart, huh?) I love to see George interact with Reese. They are crazy about each other. That's another thing I must include on his list of positive attributes - he's a good father.

I pray that the Lord will help me daily to become a better helpmate and wife to George. I hope I am able to encourage him and make him laugh as much as he does me. Most of all, I pray that we will glorify God as husband and wife from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.

We don't have a scanner, so I had to take pictures of these pictures and the quality is not that great. Plus, the batteries in our camera died and I can't find more, so I'll post more pics when I find more AA batteries.

Praying as the ceremony begins

Leaving the wedding - We didn't know at this point that
my little sister, Jessica, was hiding in the back seat under our luggage!

The Thorn

Life has been crazy and difficult the past few months. Though I believe the Christian life is more often than not a life of suffering, I've still found myself wondering why God has ordained for me so many difficulties all at once. George often reminds me this is an opportunity for my faith to increase. He's also quick to add, "God's faithfulness to you in the past is both a model and a promise of His faithfulness to you in the future, though He's too creative to do the same thing the same way twice."

John Piper put together the 5 R's of suffering, which I found highly encouraging:

1) Repentance

Suffering is a call for us and others to turn from treasuring anything on earth above God.

Luke 13:4-5 - Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.

2) Reliance

Suffering is a call to trust God not the life-sustaining props of the world.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 - For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

3) Righteousness

Suffering is the discipline of our loving heavenly Father so that we come to share his holiness.

Hebrews 12:6, 10-11 - The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.... He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

4) Reward

Suffering is working for us a great reward in heaven that will make up for every loss here a thousand-fold.

2 Corinthians 4:17 - This light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.

Matthew 5:11-12 - Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.

5) Reminder

Suffering reminds us that God sent his Son into the world to suffer so that our suffering would not be God’s condemnation but his purification.

Philippians 3:10 - ...that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings.

Mark 10:45 - The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Martha Snell Nicholson is a Christian poet who knew a great deal about suffering. Nicholson suffered from 4 incurable diseases and was bed ridden for over 3 decades. I've been thinking about her poem, The Thorn, for a few weeks now. If you are experiencing some sort of suffering, I hope it comforts you as it did me.

The Thorn

I stood a mendicant of God before His royal throne

And begged him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.

I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart

I cried, "But Lord this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart.

This is a strange, a hurtful gift, which Thou hast given me."

He said, "My child, I give good gifts and gave My best to thee."

I took it home and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore,

As long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more.

I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace,

He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.